School Pictures...

TODAY!! WHeeeeeeeeeeee!


I feel like I'm 6.

I WILL CONVINCE MYSELF....

That I am doing good... I had my first (unsuccessful) garage sale. Actually, it was successful - just not as profitable as I would have thought. I feel good that I donated the rest of the stuff to a local second hand store that benefits the local high school arts program. I feel good that I have lots of stuff out of my basement. I feel good that I have now made the decision to take a big box of stuff to them whenever it fills up. Win-win-win all the way around! The "water" of life is flowing and I have removed part of the stagnation.

We painted our house about 2 years ago, with the exception of the dormers that are 80 million feet in the air. It seemed to be a mystery of how to get those scraped, repaired and painted -- our ladders didn't reach. I couldn't devise a safe enough method with ropes to crawl out on the roof -- too steep. I'm too cheap to pay someone else to do it. We thought of renting an extension bucket but that would only work on one side of the house as we couldn't gain access to the other. Then the gods smiled upon us. D borrowed a hugemongous ladder that extends 60 feet in the air from work. With this, we were able to extend it out and match the pitch of the roof. Then we were able to climb right up and have "steps" along the dormer. We...uh... Me. My darling hubby does not do heights. I must've spent too much time in trees as a youth because being up that high is almost calming. Either way, slow going ...but I almost have one side done. The other side will be this weekend. =)

House done, check. Next project - driveway & tires for the car.

Current diet project: revamping the acidity and alkline balance of my body. Current status: failed. I just ate a donut without thinking. Damn those Krispy Kremes!! I'm attempting a 3 week hard-core regime. 80% akline foods, 20% acidic, no pop, preservative ladden junk food or candy sugars. Seeing as I normally eat at least 2 pieces of candy, 4 servings of dairy and 2 servings of meat a day....the task is ENORMOUS. Veggies & fruit are killing me. Must make the garage friendly.

Finances: chip. chip. chip... chip. chip. chip. chip.... chip....

I WILL CONVINCE MYSELF....

Alright

I know it is summer and I know that you are all quite busy...but get to bloggin' girls!

I found Terra's response on the last post very interesting and a wonderful little insight into her world/life. I also found answering the question quite hard and had many drafts going at once. It was a thinker...

So - right now I am going thru some things regarding my dad. I can discuss on here because he doesn't read this blog...thank gawd. It has been so stressful this visit that I ended up writing him a letter. I haven't decided if I will mail this letter or just rip it up for a feeling of catharsis. The letter was written for either to happen. When I wrote the letter I realized that it had been 15 years that he has popped in and out of my life - staying with me over summers, eating all of my food, using my computer, phone, cell phone, car, etc. with an attitude of entitlement. Granted he has helped in different situations but boy do I end up paying for it - thus the attitude of entitlement. I also feel completely encroached upon and violated. Nothing that I have is mine when he is here - it is his. Even furniture that I have had for over 18 years that was his at one point in time - he reminds me that it is his and that I should be grateful that I have it. I feel violated that he is on my computer and goes thru my files looking for pictures. I put a stop to that one. He answers our phone and then offers to call people back. WHAT? GET OUT OF MY LIFE! Then when I tell him it is none of his business and that I am an adult and he needs to get out of my business he gets mad and tells me that he is just trying to help. UGH!

So, I have a lot of thinking to do in the next several months before summer happens again. I don't want this to go on anymore. After seeing the 15 years - it just made me sick. And realizing that he did the same thing to me in college with 5 roommates around...makes me even sicker. He seems to think that it is okay to try and continue to control me by manipulation. Well, no longer. It may be a bit painful to do - but I figure it is like a really crusty bloody bandaide that is festering - and it must be ripped off and thrown in the trash.

How will you live the rest of your adult life with your parents? How will you treat your children when they are all grown up? What will you do differently?

May 19th or June 9th?

Apparently, no computer savy in my "being". I completed a draft 6/9 but it flipped down to May 19th since I started it then... Happy reading. =)

Perspective

So we are to write, or was asked to write, to answer the question 'What are you here to do?'. I've had several drafts of my response to this question but haven't gotten far. Or, maybe I have gotten far but it seems a jarbled bunch of words of response.

Then this morning I found out that a girl that I went to high-school with and played softball with in 5th grade and 6th grade and some in high-school - a friend, but one that I did not stay in touch with - has throat cancer which has now spread to her lungs and lymph nodes. She just had a baby a month ago.

Memories of her in school and us as kids have been flooding back all this morning and my heart not only breaks because of the most likely outcome of this but that her baby girl will not have her mother here. She will have to depend on the memories of those around her. The whole thing breaks my heart.

This question that was posed, has new meaning for me this morning or maybe, after reading my drafts, some things that I have been thinking about are now at the forefront of my thinking versus somewhere jarbled in the middle. The past few days, we have been coming up with various scenarios of what to do once my husband is laid-off...and other entry-level jobs that we wanted in the aviation/helicopter world are now out of reach due to minimum requirements being upped. We have had a strong pull to go back to KC but our commitment has to be with his career. Thinking about starting a school in KC so that he can get additional hours, etc., me find a decent job...I will stop there. Just understand that we have a lot of plates in the air right now.

Last night I watched something that made me want to leave the US and live elsewhere. It came at a good time due to contemplating some other opportunities outside the US for my husband. It got me to thinking...I've been wanting to stay home with my son for quite a while now. I've been taking steps to declutter our life and live a simple life. I've been wanting to just concentrate on my family and creating a good life for us. Right now though - with student loans, credit card bills, house payments, car payments, health care payments...well, how do I get to where I want without the fear of losing it all?

I think the answer to the question 'What are you here to do?' is right in front of me. I am here to support my family. To make sure that each day I have with them is a great day. To not worry about the things at work. To make sure that I am the one that will tuck them in bed at night or lie next to them. To make love to my husband. To cherish and to remind my friends and family that we have one shot at this - make it something that you want, not what is expected of you.

The question became very simple really.

I hope that my old friend has cherished everything. I'm sure that she has. I'm sure because she has always been like that. And I have to thank her.

Posed Question: What did you come here to do?

Obviously, I did not come here to finish this post as it has now been 3 weeks since I started it. I am here to be a smart-alec, of course! To be mysterious, intimidating, immoveable and stubborn and amazing... or so I've heard. La, la, la.


I had to chuckle at the question because of the warped path my brain took in answering it. The question made me think of my brother & myself. It made me think of our separate personalities and the vastly different ways we are able to navigate this life. It made me think of his frustration with me as a little sister which is actually a two-fold admiration. I think he holds me in high regards most of the time but has no clue in the understanding of how I am.

I consider my brother a "searcher". Even when given the answer, he would still look further. He has this unsatisfaction to him, an unacceptance. He, however, has not figured out to use this in a positive light. We're not talking about striving to prove something wrong...more like "the world is wrong". I hope in his next life he learns how to "just be".

As far back as I can remember, I've always been a self-entertained child. I know I was inquisitive to some extent because I now consider myself fairly intelligent and know my parents were/are of the teaching sort. I would have had to be curious about things. I also know that I thought a lot. I would take information and "go away for processing". And then I would play. =) I had/have a lot of acceptance with things. I tie a lot of nature into everyday processes & I associate animal interaction with human interaction. I've learned that I have a delayed reaction with situations because it allows me to avoid reacting the unnecessary way and to have time to see more about the circumstances that may be hidden. I do have brief and fleeting struggles with the way I am occasionally as I wonder if I should be "doing more." I worry about my lack of drive to be at the top of the ladder in business, or wasting my potential. Like I said - fleeting. I know I can prop that ladder up against my house and climb to the top any day. I know I can absolutely kill the business world and explode my potential. I also know I would be unhappy in the rat-race. It's the checks and balances that we all have to have with ourselves - to be able to know ourselves, make decisions for our happiness and to have acceptance that we are doing the right thing. The truths are the hinges.

Most of today's society will not understand or accept simplicity. The media and advertising bombards us with solutions for "problems" that we have, (or will soon have because we're thinking about it constantly with the commercials blared every 5 minutes). We are taught to "strive for the best", "climb to the top", "give it your all", "get in there and just do it". While I certainly agree, these ideas are positive and must be tried in certain situations...they should not be the fabric of our daily lives. They've created the "super woman" of the 21st century that has no time for anything. I think this has been the foundation of the stress level of today's society. Initially, these mantras or mentalities may be the cause for our progression in industry, business, global communication, and every innovation of the 21st century but when do we slow down and have our "Sunday"? Where is the day of rest?

So here is my answer to the question "What did you come here to do?"

Simply put: "To be."

Ahhhh....

I was really hoping that my motivation factor would have risen prior to the 5k we did...however...it did not. Although - I am happy to save - motivation is here and I think it all has to do with the 5k we did together AND the sunny frickin' weather we are having in Portland! I really haven't realized how much the rain and cold has affected me this year until now. Post-partem hormones - shit - add 8 months of rain and you get one depressed chick!!
Hopefully I am better now.
I feel better.

So - I was wondering something...but I want to first say that I absolutely loved being able to do the 5k with my girlies!. I miss having female companionship out here in Portland...and it was just so terribly nice to be around my friends for an hour doing something with a couple thousand other women. It was just really great. I hope that all of you remember to save time for your friends. I now life gets super busy and we get wrapped up into our own little world - but - it is good to keep the friends there by you as much as possible. Get together and just have fun and be young again without the everyday stresses of life. Don't talk about your kids, talk about nothing and just go and do something new and exciting. Take a pottery class. Make yard ornaments out of objects from Goodwill. Be creative and feminine together.

Okay - now on to the wondering something portion. I was wonering if we would like to submit questions to answer for this blog. Not a 20 something list or tell us about yourself kind of crap - we can email that so I can promptly delete it...but where it is more of a chance to gather one thought and write about it. Something that you would see out of a college writing class...an essay of sorts. Essay's from our personal points of view to share with the world.

Let me know what you think and in the meantime I will propose the first essay topic: What did you come here to do?

Take the topic however you may, dwell on it, stew on it, spend 2 seconds on it...but write about it and post. Take your time. But post it. Share it

.

back in the saddle

again a big thanks to jes for motivating me to get up on a Sunday morning at 5:30. honestly tho i was up early anyway worrying that i was cooking up a third halfling to add to the already overwhelming brood we've got going now. Luckily, I'm in the clear. I say luckily because I'm just starting to feel sane, health-wise -- even as the youngest moves into her pre-language frustration gutteral howl phase. There just isn't enough of me to go around as it is. God know what he/she is doing, that's clear.
so i've been planting up a storm attempting to get the yards in some kind of order. Last summer was a bust on that and the summer before as well. in the process, i think it's keeping me active enough to kick my metabolism into a gear a bit. I'm finding myself more motivated to forego the sweets and just play outside instead -- which is a welcome change let me tell you.
i've still not dropped a size which is my measure. And I'm not really even close, but I feel better. I have a friend who ran her first half marathon after losing 125 pounds. She's inspiring me to think about running. Something I've always hated but, lots of things have changed -- like my metabolism -- but it's worth considering. If nothing else, I'd like to do more 5ks so it doesn't make my face purple to walk 3 25 min miles. Ugh.

WE ROCK.

And oh my gawd, I can't move my hips today!!

Big news

Hi girls!  I am so glad to see some posts out here.  I have missed you all and I have missed posting too.  

I have been very busy the last few weeks.  As I have mentioned, my life has been ever changing over the last 15 months or so.  I have felt like someone took my 52 cards and threw them up in the air.  I have been watching and waiting as they slowly fall to the table.  And I am happy to annouce that I think they are all falling right into place.

I accepted a new job this week.  It is truly very close to being a dream job for me.  I am so incredibly excited.  I gave notice at my current job today and start my new gig on 5/11.  I had to decide if doing something that made me happy was worth taking a pretty big cut in pay and working even more hours.  Guess what?!?!?  It is.  I may have to make some drastic changes in my life (like selling my house FSBO in this awful market), but I already feel so much better!  Please let me know if you know anyone in the market for a great house, awesome neighborhood and convenient location!

The finances are working themselves out.  I still feel like I am on a really good path, but my progress will be drastically slowing here in a few weeks due to the pay cut.  But again, it is worth it!  I cannot wait to do something that has me excited to get out of bed every morning.  My current job may pay a lot more (20%), but I am not passionate about it - at all!  This new company is stable and has a product that I truly believe in. 

On the weight front I am down about 40 lbs.  I was down even more before the easter bunny paid us a visit - dang bunny!  But the good news is that I am back on track.  As for the mother's day walk....I'm not sure if I am going to make it.  My goal is to be there, but I am going to have to fly out of town for my first day of work/orientation that afternoon.  I want to make sure that I get some good time in with little Mo and my mom and grandma.  I will let you know next week.  If I do make it I will be walking, so you will not be alone Tea!

Well, I need to head for bed.  I have had a crazy week at work and I had an emergency root canal this morning.  My tooth was killing me last fall and they couldn't find anything wrong.  It got better, but for the last few weeks I have been having killer headaches and I got a big bump on my gums, but my tooth felt fine.  I wrote it off as allergies/sinus stuff after talking to my doc, but went to the dentist earlier this week just in case.  It was absessed and I couldn't get away from work until today.  Needless to say it was really bad - they had to send me to a specialist and even he thought it was pretty nasty.  I am hoping to feel better tomorrow and be able to return some calls - sorry I have been so hard to reach.

Good luck girls and keep up the good work!

Mo

I'm officially....

COMMITTED. No, not that way... but perhaps, I should be?
http://www.mothersdayrun.com/index.html

Stock Market of Life

I am market daft. I can't say financially daft, because I am savy in the simple sense. Budget, general register, simple interest and payments in the credit card worlds...I am savy; I can manoevre and manipulate. My dad has taken to sending me e-news letters from a financial advisor person. Like a dutiful daughter, I muddle thru the lingo, boredom (for me) and charts. I have to admit, this WWII veteran old geezer does make the stock market interesting as he is kind of the Andy Rooney(60 Minutes) of the stock world. What I have derived today is that our lives are like the stock market and our personalities are the types of commodities. Are you the majority - a stock with value that will drop or gain, going thru the roller coaster of life with possible splits, buyouts or dividends? Are you a more steady person -- a savings bond -- slow & steady gain and ever dependable? Are you a precious metal stock or commodity -- little known, rarely touted but of utmost importance and dependability when times are hard? Whatever personality, we're all in the roller coaster park. We'll all go up, and go down. We may be on different roller coasters, or the same one in different cars. We all got on at some point and we'll all get off someday and exit the park. Let's just hope the ride is worth it and we all want to come back.

Enough entertainment reading. Birthday was good. I'm still not quite used to the "quietness" as my party G-ma is having her own party in heaven. My KelKat treated me to some good raw fishies and some superb cold pear sake. I may never go back to the hot stuff after this! (My pocketbook may beg to differ...) My house has been given a new piercing in the form of a twist doorbell. (Thanks Dad!) Mama's got a new pin-up girl shirt and a beauteous card from the hubby.

Financial --I think we're on a little downhill slope before the big fall. I feel good. Not anywhere near paying stuff off and by what I can calculate...we still have 5 years, assuming nothing changes. Not my ideal, but not bad either. However, that can be accellerated by the hubby's job prospect(s) which at the moment, is cream worthy. Take that how you may...

I started walking last week after a long winter of stagnancy. True, I did do a jump-start of super yoga in March (which I have yet to return to because an oil change turned into a $700 brake repair. My yoga funds were re-allocated) I have to admit; I am a fair-weather walker. I really need to pump it up before this walk though or I may be dyin' in the first quarter. I'll probably have some 80 year old grandma passing me - cackling!

A -- how's the critter cookin'?

Mother's Day Run/Walk

So - your walking every day huh? Your running every other day right?

I give you credit.

I have done nothing for months.

I have pictures that were taken yesterday and I am shocked. I do not like how I look and it is adding to the frustrations/stress that are mounting.

I have so much pent up anxiety and frustration that I should be out running every day! I truly believe that this would help my outlook on life right now. I was going to try and stay off the whole blog world for a bit, however, I need this site and the support that goes along with it. Work has been very hard lately - very busy but they are now cutting back my working days. Kind of. I have the option to work Fridays if I need to...but if I do - are they going to run out of money to pay me prior to my contract end date? If I don't work - how do I pay my bills AND save money. If I do work - how do I only work for what I am getting paid for? without feeling like I need to put the overtime in that I typically have to do? How do I just relax about the whole thing and enjoy my non-working life more?

So Lido and I are going to go for a nice long walk today. I will be getting up earlier tomorrow morning and working out. I will continue to do this...I also need a big bottle of Prozac. I need to relax. I need a vacation.

I'll get the vacation soon enough - right now I'm really looking forward to seeing all of you at the walk! http://www.mothersdayrun.com/

How is everyone else doing these days...I miss you all writing on here and telling me how life is - your perspective - or just gabbing.

Love to all of you!

What's Up

So...just because I said I wouldn't be posting for a bit doesn't mean that all of you have to stay off...hopefully you are all busy with good things!

Wanted to remind everyone that there are only 4 weeks left before the Mother's Day walk/run!!! If you haven't got your butts in gear yet (me) I suggest you do so soon!

Speaking of getting butts in gear - they significantly screwed all the consultants at my job and we have to take mandatory days off during the month (2 days a month) and we don't get overtime anymore...which puts me out about 38 hours a month...we shall see how great my job is in a while...anyway...this made us rethink some of our spending habits (again) and I'm now making baby food and holding my breath that Lido eats it! And we are making food in bulk for ourselves - so frozen turkey burgers, chicken with all the fixin's frozen...I hope it will cut down. I'm going to track it this time. I think I spent almost $200 on groceries (out of some spices) and I'll see how long this lasts us...and of course fill you in.

Happy Easter!

Wow

So it seems that all of us have been a bit busy lately! First - CONGRATULATIONS - we have a new baby to look forward to pretty soon from A and her family!!! That is great. I know you've been wanting to add to the brood - I can officially call you a brood now since you will have more than 2 kids right??
Mo - congrats on the weight challenge and the organization, etc! I envy you right now. We just redid our living room layout so LiDo can crawl around uninterrupted by us or pillows or blankets...we shall see how that goes tomorrow night...I'm sure we have missed several items that can topple over or be yanked...
Ter - hang in there. It will all get better.

I'm not sure if any of you realize that our Mother's Day walk/run is coming up in oh about 6 weeks. I realized this a couple of weeks ago but have done nothing except the thinking part. I have been fighting one sickness after another for the past month and have been in no shape to start walking or running. I think I am over the worst of it all and have a bit of energy left so this is the week that I will start. We have new daycare that is in a neighborhood across the street from us so it will be easy enough to grab him, run home and run back out again. Hopefully the weather cooperates. I HATE March/beginning of April in Portland...it will be sunny all week and then right when you drive home it starts raining or is completely crappy on the weekends. It is really hit or miss but definitely a teaser. Plus - I just need sunlight right now. Sun Sun Sun Sun...that is all I think about. Did anyone ever see that old movie (70's) that was based of the Ray Bradbury short story of people living on a planet where the sun shown only 1 day out of the year and for only a short period of time and there was a group of school children that were getting ready to enjoy the 1 day of sun and locked another child in a room with a tiny window? The child could only catch a glimpse of the sun but couldn't go out and enjoy it? I think of that movie constantly about this time of year. I feel like the school kid locked in a room with only a glimpse of sunlight. How depressing is that?
We have been doing pretty well on keeping our act together. Good thing to as we would like to move out of the place we are currently in. We've decided that we will definitely be out here for another full year and we may as well be somewhere we will enjoy...maybe a place that has a yard? We've looked at a couple of places in this great neighborhood and even though the bedrooms are a bit small and we may end up with more of a romper room than a bedroom with a king-size bed shoved in there...well, I'll take it. It is 1 block from a park. It has different walking paths that end up connecting to Washington Park (largest city park in the US). It is close to the highway which will be very convenient for us...Drawbacks - well, I have to go the opposite way to drop LiDo off at daycare...but hey - I'll have a yard.
I have more to say but I think I may save it for a couple days. I'm in the midst of some self-reflection and I just read a blog describing exactly what I am thinking about So I'll post something once I get a bit more sorted out in my head. It will be interesting to hear if any of the rest of you are going through the same thing....

Time Flies

I just realized that I haven't posted in awhile, so thought I would check in. Yesterday marked 6 months since I filed for divorce. In some ways it seems like 6 years ago, but in others just like yesterday.

Since that day I have lost 38 lbs, paid off some bills, completely remodeled one room, partially remodeled another and completely organized my entire house (except for the garage). It feels pretty good to see that here - I feel like I have actually accomplished something in the last 6 months. I have achieved forward momentum!

I only have 2 weeks and a day left until the final weigh in for my contest at work. My goal is to lose another 8-10 lbs in that time in an effort to take the prize. However, I will no longer be getting the Kindle if I do because too many bills have materialized in the last few weeks. My car insurance is due for another 6 months, car tags and my accountant is working on my taxes as we speak. I am crossing my fingers that I won't owe again this year - I still haven't recovered from giving them all of my savings last year! I am having them review last year's return just in case my last preparer made a mistake, but I think it was just CA. To my dismay I found out that I have to file in CA again for '08 because even though I didn't live there at all I did get my bonus and vacation payout from Sprint in Jan '08 and they paid it out of CA since that was the last state I worked in for them.

I am also still waiting to see if my extension gets signed. If not, my last day will be 4/3. My client says that she is pretty sure it will get signed, which will give me until 6/30. But I am not holding my breath, just in case.

Here's wishing each of you a little forward momentum this week!
MO

Sorry for the absence...

...but good news to follow...I am no longer trying to loose weight...in fact I am ready to gain several pounds b/c I am expecting 9/9/09!! Getting past this first 14 weeks has been rough, but I am seeing (feeling) the light at the end of the tunnel. Starting to get a little more energy. We are excited and AJK (5yr girl) is driving us nuts w/ her impatience about the whole thing! :) Very cute though. She so badly wants to have a little sister that I am afraid of what may happen if we end up finding out it is a boy. KJK (2yr boy) is oblivious and asked me the other day "Mommy, where is the baby." I told him "in mommy's tummy" and he promptly said..."Mommy, that's funny." and went about his business like it was no big deal. Ahhh the innocence. Otherwise...the house is a pit b/c I haven't had the energy to clean. BK (hubby) has been understanding, but somehow he hasn't had the motivation to clean either. I suppose the dust will have to wait for us. The clutter is catching up to me, so I hope I have more energy soon so it doesn't start to swallow the children. All in all...things are well. Can't complain too much b/c with the economy the way it is...someone always has it worse than any of us. The way BK and I see it w/ our jobs in the grocery industry and the healthcare industry people are always going to buy groceries to eat and always need healthcare for their kids...so we feel pretty lucky.

Javagirl--I am still planning on walking in the 5K...how do we sign up??

Melancholy - "I can't complain"

I think I am the opposite of the norm. I must be. I am calmest at the full moon while all the other crazies are rip-roaring hyped. Go figure. Work is a little crazy today -- people are stressed, kiddos are upset and our favorite little basket case is in the counselor's office hyper-ventilating and wailing. Full moon, yeah.

I started yoga last night. It's been 5 years (yikes) and courtesy of a local studio, I now have 2 whole weeks of unlimited classes for $25. Spring break is coming up which means I can do 2 classes a day if I so desire. Full moon, right? Maybe I am crazy, considering I can't use my arms today after doing 80 million vinyasas last night. But damn, it feels good. Binge exercise anyone?

Everything else in my little bubble... I really can't complain. And shouldn't. We are managing. I have no self control to get the good habits in place and the rough stuff (financial) isn't going as fast as I want it to go (as usual) but it's all going. Clutter is still there, love handles are still there, hubby is getting in his busy time and I'm feeling a little neglected, but in all reality, I can't complain. So I won't.

Frustration

It is beautiful outside, it has been a very productive day and I am in a great mood. However, everywhere I turn today leads to frustration. As some of you may know, I have more reasons than just vanity and my weight loss contest to lose my excess weight. I have some health issues that are making it an absolute necessity for me to shed the pounds. So, I have a monthly checkup with my doctor to make sure that I am progressing. My monthly appointment was this morning and it didn't start off well. The nurse led me to the dreaded scale and guess what?!?! They got a brand new scale and it said that I weighed 3 lbs more than the old scale. You may ask how I would know this, well, I am of the school where I weigh every day. I do this because I know myself. If I get off for a day and I see it on the scale within a few days it makes me check myself and stay committed. If I only check sporadically then I get distracted and sometimes that off day stretches into days. By the time I see it on the scale I have gained several pounds and then I get frustrated and want to give up. So, I weigh myself before I go to the doctors office so that I will know how to adjust my weight at home to be inline with the doctors scale. Ok - that was a long explanation, but apparently their old scale was off. So I went in thinking that I lost 10 lbs this month for a total of 33, but alas I only lost 7 for a total of 30. Still good, but very frustrating.

My next frustration came when I called CitiMortgage. I am now going to join the finanicial institution bashing that has been popular on this site. In January I started paying all of my big bills (car, home, etc.) every 2 weeks instead of once a month. It is hard to get on this schedule because you basically have to pay ahead, but once you do I find that it is easier - and you save money on interest. I thought things were going well until I received a call from Citi last week stating that I was 2 months behind on my mortgage payment - even though I was technically 1/2 month ahead. It seems that they will not allow you to make partial payments unless you PAY THEM MORE MONEY to enroll in a special program. UNREAL! So, they had taken that 2.5 months of payments and applied all of them to my prinicipal and loaded me down with a bunch of late fees for not making my payments. Here is the best part, once I explained everything they had the audacity to tell me that they would do me a favor and waive the late fees for me as a one time courtesy. WHAT?!?! I paid you early and extra and you are doing me a favor? Even better - they didn't apply the payments to my principal when they received them - nope they waited until the end of the month when they had received the entire payment and then applied them to the wrong place, so I didn't even get the benefit of paying my prinicpal down faster. Long story short, I just made my umpteenth call and it is still not straightened out. I have paid for all of March and half of April and although that money is sitting in my account they will not apply it to my payments. I think I finally got someone to understand what needs to happen. I called to find out more about their bi-weekly program - $375 enrollment fee and then a $1.50 fee every time you make a payment. What a rip off! So, I promptly went in and changed my bill pay back to once a month. At least I tried!

Sorry for the rant, but I had to get that off my chest! I think maybe I will work from home for the rest of the day and try to soak up some sunshine and fresh air.

Interpretation

Interesting take on my post Javagirl. I always enjoy seeing how people interpret things differently. In the past, I probably would have had the same reaction as you to my post. But maybe that is why I feel so different about my current project. I don't feel like it is something I am meant to do for money. I feel like it's something I am meant to create. Now that is not to say that I couldn't do it for a living. First I have to see if I am any good at it. Then I have to see if other people enjoy it. I guess that will happen if this is truly meant to be and maybe then I could make a living at it. For right now, I am just content to enjoy the creative process as I work through the details.

On other fronts I am proud, if not a little hesitant, to annouce that I finally broke through the plateua. I have now lost about 33 lbs in the last 2 months. My goal is to lose 45-50 lbs within 3 months, so I still have a chance. Did I mention that I am in a weight loss contest with some friends at work? So far I have consistently been in the top 3. We weigh in once a month and the person in last has to kick an additional $10 into the pot. I am a very competitive person, so this was just the extra push I needed to get this weight off. I have even decided what I will do with the winnings, if I am so lucky... I have been wanting a Kindle (Amazon reader) ever since they came out back in '07. As luck would have it they released the Kindle 2 last week. So, now I have a little extra motivation on my side.

Before I forget I want to thank Tea for the awesome comment/quote she posted the other day. I love it! Thank you!
Mo

Revelation...Realization

Hmmm...So your post has stumped me. First thought was - is any of us really doing what we were born to do? Do you know of anyone that is doing what they were born to do? Full time. Making money. Second thought was - do I want to do something that I love day in and day out or do I want to figure out how I would like to spend my time - doing the things that I love?

Or do I even know what I would really like to do?

I am passionate about photography - always have been - but do I want to be a professional photographer? No. I love helping people but do I want to open up my massage practice again? No. I enjoy finding ways of saving money or planning out the most cost effective way of doing something but do I want to be a financial planner/biz guru? Hell no. I love organizing but do I want to be a professional organizer? No.

I think that is why I loved being a wedding/event planner....I got to do so many things. In my job right now (even though it is a pain in my arse this week) is the fact that I get to wear so many hats...most of them no one else wants to wear...but my job changes and isn't just one thing over and over again...plus it pays better.

I think that it is great to go after what you would really like to do. I know I am constantly searching but have finally decided that where I am is where I should be right now. I look at Dodo and how he can go after getting his helicopter license...and I think "how the hell could a person decide to do one thing the rest of his life?" But then - I'm not him. I wait for the moment he gets bored and tells me he want to do something else (as if) but know that in the long run - I'm the one that gets bored. With all my interests and loves - I'm good where I am.

So keep plugging away at getting to the point that you are doing what you were born to do! It comes in many different forms and the moment you get there - you'll feel much better.

And speaking of jobs and especially if anyone is thinking about embarking on something new in this day and age...haha....what are your thoughts of how the "little guy" will end up making it big? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Wondering how small business is going to change along with big business. Are we going to have these success stories of how someone filled a need and made it big?

This thought comes to mind more and more these days because before, if I was afraid of losing my job, I could say "hey - maybe I'll try this next". I'm afraid those days are over. The days of losing a job and deciding to go out and make it on your own. Hell, good luck finding the capital but if you did - what would you do?

Revelation

Have any of you ever felt like you weren't doing what you were born to do? I for one believe in destiny and I think that sometimes we can get off track. In fact, I think that I was really off track. It has been nagging at me for some time - just a little voice in the back of my head really. But lately I have been inspired in a way that I never expected. The result? I started to hear that little voice much more clearly and it turns out that it was not really that little - it has been screaming at me - I was just choosing to ignore it.

Once I allowed myself to hear it clearly it became an even bigger issue for me because I was faced with trying to figure out what was off track in my life. After a few days I realized that it is my lack of a creative outlet. I tried to resolve this by doing some creative stuff on my own time. It worked a little, but did not fulfill me. I have been doing a lot of research on the internet and I have been thinking - a lot! In fact, I have been in my head so much lately that it is a little scary. I had some serious spring cleaning to do folks. Turns out that when you focus all of your energy on things that aren't fulfilling you, lots of things get neglected.

I am happy to report that I think I figured out what I might be meant to do. I know I am being a little vague, but I am not ready to share the details with anyone yet. In fact, it might be months before I am ready. In the meantime I am moving ahead full steam with my plan in my limited spare time. If things work out the way I hope they do then I will share more later. If not, I will just chalk it up to a learning experience.

I have shared my new obsession with the two people that I am closest too, my mom and my dearest friend. It's funny because I was leary of even telling them. You see, I am so passionate about this new project that I feel like I sound really strange when I talk about it. In fact, when I told my mom - said it outloud for the first time - I actually cried. It was like the best release you can imagine.

So, if any of you have a little voice nagging at you in the back of your mind, take some time to listen. You just might find out that listening to it could change your life. If nothing else, you might feel more fulfilled. If you start this little process and start to feel a little overwhelmed (believe me - I did) then let me know and I will give you some encouragement to get yourself through it.

Appreciation

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kind words Javagirl and Tea. You have no idea how much I needed your inspiration right now too. When I get a chance to slow down (which is rare) I reflect on how much I have been through in the past year or two. I have absolutely no regrets nor do I feel sorry for myself at all. Quite the opposite really. I am proud that I have been able to keep my head held high as I jump over the hurdles, which in the grand scheme of things are really just very small little bumps along the road of life.

Recently a co-worker told me that "if it weren't for bad luck I would have no luck at all". I was actually a little offended. I will admit that things have not been perfect, but a big chunk of that is my fault. I made some choices in life that in hindsight may not have been the best. But good things, no GREAT things have come of some of those decisions. First and foremost, my son who has forever changed my life in the most awe inspiring way possible. Secondly I have learned - learned to pick myself up and dust myself off, learned to make the most of the situation and learned that I am surrounded by the BEST and most supportive people in the world. And lastly I have learned that I am incredibly fortunate. I really have no complaints, there are so many people in the world that are working through serious issues (cancer, accidents, war, etc.).

The other day I went to pick up little Mo at school and I found a letter from the school in his cubby. There was a picture of a little boy in his class at the top. Now this little boy has made an impression on me. You know how there are a few kids in your child's class that stand out - kids that connect with you and that you remember? Well this little guy greets little Mo and I every morning - without fail. He is always happy and he always brings a smile to my face. I noticed that he hadn't been in school for a few days, so I just assumed his family was on vacation or that he was sick or something. Well, unfortunately I was right, he is sick, but not the cold or flu that I was assuming. He was diagnosed with Leukemia a few days prior and was already in the hospital receiving chemo. I cried as I read the note asking us to pull together and support them with cards, meals, etc. Thankfully the kids were in a different room at the time or I would have been surrounded with little ones asking what is wrong with little Mo's mommy.

I just can't tell you how much I am pulling for this little guy and how much his story has impacted me and reminded me to be thankful for everything, everyone and everyday that I have. Thankfully there is a high cure rate for his disease, so there is a good chance that he will overcome this, but it never hurts to have as many people as possible pulling for you, so please keep him in your thoughts. I know you don't know him, but he is a little ray of sunshine and I know he would make you smile if you ever got the chance to meet him.

So, count your blessings not your burdens. I appreciate all of you and your support.

Have a great weekend!

You are my inspiration...

MO42 -- reading your post really made my day! The only thing I have to add to my last post is that the school board is "voting" on the issues and proposed job cuts in AUGUST. You know, 2 months after everyone has been let go. Go figure. The other thing to add is that my car cracked an expansion tank and spit antifreeze out at a stoplight yesterday. Yeah us. No car. Less money. I will admit, every screw-up in my life comes with a bouquet of flowers. I was around the corner from a gas station, my parents were home, my dad brought more antifreeze and helped me zoom to the repair shop which was 1/2 mile away and my brother flew to CA yesterday leaving me his car for the week! What a bouquet.

I digress. For the few short years I have been your friend, MO 42, your last post is everything I have hoped for you. I always knew you had the drive, but we (aries?) tend to get caught up in the hopeless causes at our own expense. You will be zooming towards the sky, creating those beautiful rainbows along the way. Your kiddo will be proud of you and the amazing woman you are.

I have a friend on the "Slim4Life" program. To get thru the plateaus, they do 3lbs of protien for 3 days and greens. They also utilize a lot of water (with a little fresh lemon juice) and cucumbers in vinnegar. Short spans of this stuff to jump start the metabolism. But then again, you sound like you're rocking by yourself and getting good incentive (little mo's playtime)

I hope the rest of us all remember to hang on to your spirit and drive in our own goals!!

Run Run Run

I want to start off with reminding everyone that we are doing the Mother's Day run here in a couple of months!!! Don't forget. I haven't been faithful with getting my butt out there to train or at least do the wii....yes - we got one...but since I am giving up on the weather being nice I'm going to start to get out there each night and jog/walk a bit. We found a great route to a little walking park by our house - one where we can keep on the side streets and off of our super busy street outside our house. This is a motivator in and of itself. I love having a good route!

We are on to saving for whatever may come...Our goal is at least 3 months in the bank. I don't think that I have any reason for losing my job or that they will lay me off - right now. So I will relax a bit but keep preparing for the day. The good thing is that I dusted off my resume and posted it and get about 5 phone calls a day for positions...well, most of the time it is 5 different people calling for the same position...but hey - if I do lose my job next week, well, at least I know that I am a wanted person (or resume at least).

Little guy has been sick since Friday - he has turned into a demon child. So, I have pretty much eaten like crap and have only moved from the sofa to the bed...for 4 days. I was seriously considering going to a priest and having him perform an exorcism...I completely understand that he has not felt well but he has developed this terrible habit of screeching like a banshee when he wants something. Or if he wakes up and we are not within inches of him - he screams. He is back to sleeping with us in bed since we can't put him down or he wakes up and starts screaming. I think we will have our work cut out for us to break these habits when he starts feeling better. At least today he is smiling and being a bit happier! Reminds me of why I wanted kids in the first place.

The good thing is that the Wii has decided my age is 24. I think that part comes from the agility portion of the thing....the other day when I wasn't so much concentrating I was 42. Either that or my Wii is dyslexic....

You know how we paid off and down on these credit cards...wouldn't you know.. we've spent money on them again>....guess my paycheck tomorrow will be going towards paying off what we put on there....we suck. You know - we HAD TO HAVE that Wii. So my goal now is to write myself notes reminding me of what we are trying to do and why.

Mo - thanks for your update! It has helped me. Remember that when you platue - it helps to do something different (like you did). That will usually jump start the metabolism again. Also - make sure that your thyroid, etc. is in working order. Sometimes that can really screw things up.

Plateau

I have reached the dreaded plateau. I was losing weight at a pretty good pace and then I just kinda slowed down and have been losing and gaining the same 1.5 lbs for the last week. I know it is my own fault - I am an emotional eater and I ate a ton of sweets when I went home for my grandfather's funeral. I just haven't been able to get back in the groove since then. So, I have only lost about 5 lbs in the last 2.5 weeks. I am down over 28 lbs which should make me happy, but I figure if you are eating well and exercising that you should be rewarded with smaller numbers more quickly. If only it were that easy.

Little Mo motivated me last night though. I was extremely tired and was going to ditch the workout for the evening. He was not in agreement. Apparently he really likes the child care center at the community center, so he begged to go and even said 'pleaseeee', so I had to give in. By the time I was 5 minutes into class I was very thankful that he motivated me. It never fails that getting there is the hardest part and then I have so much energy when I am done. I ended up losing that dreaded 1.5 lbs yesterday too, so maybe I can move forward again. I think it is thanks to a new class I tried last night. It was like a weight class set to music - hard to imagine but very effective. I hurt everywhere today.

On other fronts, I am continuing to make progress on the debt. It is very slow, but it is moving in the right direction. I was really excited because I only have one more payment to pay off all the dental work I had done last year, but then I went to the dentist yesterday and found out that I need another crown. UGH! Two steps forward - one step back. I pray that little mo didn't inherit my teeth. He had a cleaning and x-rays etc last week and has a spotless record so far, so I am keeping my fingers crossed - that and brushing his teeth a lot! :)

I also got really motivated to find some new ways to save money and the environment. As part of my new lifestyle I have given up everything but water and tea. So I have been going through a lot of bottled water. Only one bottle a day because I refill, but over the weekend I invested in a brita pitcher and a couple of BPA free water bottles. I also completed my set of reuseable cleaning cloths (microfiber) so that I hardly use any paper towels anymore. For those of you that haven't done this or don't know what I am talking about - you can get washable cloths that you can use for dusting, windows, kitchen, etc. Most of you probably already did this, but I am new to it and love it.

Last but not least - organization. I was on a huge cleaning, purging and organizing spree after I kicked the ex to the curb. Then I got on the health kick and I have just been maintaining the home front. It is amazing how easy it is to keep a house clean when there is not someone there constantly messing it up. But, I really need to go through the office and organize all the files, clean out the garage and do some yard work. I am planning on having a huge garage sale in the spring, so if anyone has a bunch of stuff they want to get rid of and you want to come work the sale with me let me know - I would love to have the company.

I hope everyone is doing ok. The last several posts have not had the best news and believe me I am still worried too, but I have decided that life is short and I don't want to waste anymore time worrying and being down. If I am going to lose my job then it is going to happen and there is nothing I can do to stop it, so I am trying to enjoy life along the way. I know this is easier said than done and that some of you know for sure that your jobs are coming to an end and I am so sorry. This is when friends are more important then ever. We are hear to listen, give you a hug, help you network, etc. So please let us know how we can help - even if it is just to try to cheer you up.

Have a great week ladies!
Mo

Turmoil Part Duex

I hear you. On everything. We have been working to pay off credit cards for quite a while now and have really hit them hard over the past several months. Then one card decided to close our account - not due to not paying on time or anything of that nature but because...well, not sure. Then I got panicky thinking that the other cards were going to do the same...so, I asked daddio for a loan to pay off our cards. I drew up a contract and am paying him the amount I would have paid each month to two cards plus a bit of interest. I planned on paying off 2 cards completely, then I read a bit more about what credit cards were doing so I decided I would pay the majority off of the highest interest rate card and then divvy the rest out to the other cards as long as I could divvy it up so that they would take a significant hit off of the balance - the rule was that I had to be able to pay the balance off in a 6-9 month period for it to be even slightly worth it (especially considering interest rates). Right now - we are looking at how fast we can pay off the rest without paying off the entire thing...READ MSN Money!!! I think that they do have some really good things out there. I don't agree with everything but they certainly gave me the heads up on credit card companies and what they were doing in this 'economy crisis'. They informed me enough to feel like I was making the right moves in what I was doing with our cards. Not that I enjoyed taking a loan from family...but hey - he is in the position to help out and we are paying him back so it is a good move. We still have to get through the crap that Amex pulled on us though....that is another long and difficult story and one that we are working on getting sorted out with them...bastards.
This next few months I hope to carry only about 5% of whatever the card limit is as a balance and I'm using all of them once a month to keep them active as well. I hope that none of them try and pull anything on me - like closing the account. Just an FYI - call the cc up and ask them to re-open your account as this is a negative hit on your credit score. If they do not open it back up - especially if you paid on time all the time - start the letter campaign and I think that there was something on msn that had a link to where you could report things like this happening. There are some new rules in place - you just have to know your rights and argue a bit AND write to them. I think it is definitely worth it especially when you have a negative standing then for that account. If at all possible - call them first and close your account. It looks better. Not great overall but better if it comes from you. I hope that we just get our stuff lower in the next few months.
Food - I love food. I especially love food when I am completely and utterly stressed at work and get no sleep and and and I could go on and on and on. I have decided that I will do what I can to eat healthy and work out. I am really hoping the sun decides to show itself for more than a few hours out here and like the fact the days are getting longer. I feel this enormous guilt that our Son has not seen much of the outside world besides going car shopping with us a couple of weekends ago. To me that is very very sad. I will enjoy our evening jogs here in the coming months. Ha - coming months....not right now mind you. I don't have the mental stamina for that.
Keep your chin up - things will get better.

Turmoil

Forgive me Peer Pressure Mother, for I have slacked. It's only been forever since I've posted. I like reading that the rest of you are moving along and getting some really positive things done. I am failing miserably and doing a little spiral. This isn't the fun stuff where we spin till we puke in the grass either.

I did pretty good for about a month. I created a morning system where I laid out everything the evening before so I just didn't have to think before dawn. It was all great, until it wasn't. It wasn't because I lost it somewhere and to pick something back up is the hardest thing. Weight -- I haven't stepped on a scale since I started adding to this blog. I know I've possibly gained. My health kick has gone out the window and I feel like I'm eating everything in sight. Finances....ugggh! Credit card companies are doing some funky stuff since Obama and January hit the times. I've had a card reduce the limit from 36K to 1K. WTF!? We're not talking any late payments or anything. Another card closed for inactivity. I obviously won't miss the card itself but closing that history doesn't help. Welcome to winter in KS -- a $430 gas bill is always lovely! And to top it all off...my husband was told his job position is cut as of June 30. The school district heads are flippin idiots. So I apologise for the downer post but for those of you doing great...know that you're doing great! I normally do but these times are not for us.

trying to focus

Focus is one of those things i used to have in ample supply. since i've started having babies though, it's kind of falling by the wayside. However, after almost a year at home with the kids, I finally feel like I have a grasp of our schedule and how to juggle time for work, time for play and time for sanity maintenance. I feel like I've made progress since we started blogging here -- if not in concrete terms of weight and money, certainly in terms of time management and clarity in my daily life. In other words, some of my goals are coming into focus a bit and I feel like I'm getting on the path to some lasting changes (if not all of the ones I wanted, at least some).
The last I went to the Doc, I'd lost a total of 11lbs since the beginning of December. I think I've made some additional progress there as well but I'll find out at the end of the month when I go back to the Doc. Also good news: my thyroid levels are in the normal range. So, hopefully, that will pay off in terms of feeling better, getting my memory back and kicking up my metabolism a tad.
Money is money. My freelance load has really taken off which means less sleep for me, but I'm doing much better with making myself go to bed at a reasonable hour and starting work earlier in the evening. If it means I can't always put the kids to bed, that sucks, but it's not as bad as them having to deal with me all the next day going on only 3 or 4 hrs sleep. So, the plus side is that we're able to stay on top of bills and even do some little extras from time to time. I pray that continues because it is such a blessing not to work about every little bill on top of work and kids.
Ok, girls, just wanted to pop in and say that i appreciate you who share your experiences on here. Even if we can't always do it regularly, it's nice to hear all of your progress when you do find time to sit and post something. Take care everyone!

Progess

I am down 20.4 lbs so far. I feel so much better already. Just in time too since my kiddo broke his leg over the weekend and I have had to carry him everywhere. I swear that cast weighs a good 3 or 4 lbs all by itself! I am just thankful that he is ok.

My finances are slowly but surely making progress too. Mind you, not much, but they are going down little by little. I read your blog Javagirl, and I am in the same boat. I really don't know what to do with my money right now. Should I be hoarding it, saving, paying off debt??? And I love my new car, but I wish I could have kept the other one until the economy turned around. Good news is that the payment is about the same and I was so upside down in the other one thanks to the wreck that my situation is not too much different financially.

How are all of you feeling in this economy? I'm so nervous about losing my job. I'm a consultant too and our jobs almost always the first to go. My company usually offers bench time, but not in this economy. You hit the bench and you get laid off. Not to mention that a few of the biggest employers here are doing mass layoffs, so the market is saturated with people with my area of expertise. Someone told me that they recently read an article here that said for every 1 opening there are 75-80 qualified applicants. Scary! The thing that scares me most is that most of my savings is gone thanks to the lawyer fees for my divorce, so I could only survive for about a month without a job.

I am trying really hard to remain positive. I am so incredibly thankful for all my wonderful family and friends. But, it is hard not to wonder when this is all going to turn around and where I will be when it does.

Are you resilient enough?

This was a title of an article that a co-worker gave me.

I'm hoping that I am.

For more - check out my 'other' blog here. This is where I am at right now and almost frozen trying to figure out what to pay off or what to save or both. Get the car fixed or buy a new one.

I'm frozen by fear.

And because of this I can't write anything right now. Just check out the other blog - state your sentiments on this one.

MOTIVATION

So glad you like the picture - yes definitely more motivational. The pic was taken at Pike Market in Seattle a couple of years ago or maybe a year ago...can't remember.

Anyway, so everyone is talking about weight right now....so I will start with that. It has been hard to stay motivated. I'm not too happy being in Portland right now so it is hard to find the strength and the will to do more than what I am typically expected to do during a normal day. I did great a couple of weeks ago with working out in the morning, then I felt like I didn't get to see my son very much so I opted to sleep and cuddle with him in the mornings versus working out....now this week my husband has been taking him in the mornings so I can get up and work out....and I have been sleeping in. Tomorrow I have a very early morning meeting with Germany so I told myself that since I have to get earlier than normal anyway - I should work out. I did decide that I was no longer going to think too much about food...so this Sunday I went to Costco (which I never do because it typically doesn't save us crap and the fact that I HATE GOING THERE)....and I stocked up on veggies, ground turkey and the fixin's for turkey burgers. I then went home and made about 20 patties and also about 2 dozen of the egg quiches. I also bought new lunch containers and each night before we go to bed we pack our lunches for the next day. I even premade some chicken (kept it raw) and added items that I wanted to cook with the chicken and froze them. So if we want chicken for dinner we take it out in the morning and it marinades in the stuff that is already in the bag and then maybe add some fresh vegetables and a salad and it will take us maybe 10 minutes to make dinner. I just want things to be a bit more simple so that it is easier to eat healthy. The key is to take time out of the weekend and prepare for the week.

Finances. No one is talking about this. Right now I am constantly looking at msn.com. They really do have some good articles about various topics on money. I'm also waiting until February when I'll start having my normal paychecks (the holiday shutdown for 2 weeks plus snow in Portland plus being a consultant doesn't equal large paychecks). I'm looking forward to trying to save as much as possible and the fact that I haven't had normal paycheck for a few weeks has got me to rethinking what I want to do with the money I save. I'm reprioritizing right now. There is so much I want to do in the next year. And there are going to be some major changes possibly - in our living situation. Who knows if we will still be in Portland so I have to plan for that and vacations and a new car and and and....once again. I'll plan all of it out a bit better here this next month. Right now it is all about paying bills and keeping us fed.

Family time. We have decided that we take 30 minutes to straighten up at night and 30 minutes to deep clean one room. This way we have more time for each other and the baby. So far it is working pretty well. Although some nights I just want to sit and veg. Like tonight....

all right, MO, you motivated me

I'm here! I'm still trying!
We've been bedeviled by the flu bug as well. So, suffice to say, our schedule is totally off. The kids are sleeping, eating, pooping whenever. It's fine. We were even making potty-training progress until the sickies caught us.
Ah well, one plus side is a lack of appetite. Which served me well for a few days as I couldn't really put much on my tummy and I ended up eating like 500 calories a day. Apparently, however, that's what I need to do to make some headway on the weight. My pants are fitting looser but I feel my appetite slowly returning. Now, if I could just find some way to trick myself into thinking I'm forever on the verge of hurling, that's a diet trick!
But seriously, the Girl Scout cookies are calling my name, too. Thankfully, not being in an office this year, I did not order any. However, I may or may not have googled how to buy some off the scouts who ordered extra. I'll neither confirm nor deny.
:)
The plus side of the sickness is that my sugar cravings have subsided a bit -- so that tells me that it's a learned habit and as I've read somewhere before there is no such thing as a craving. There are only habits.
I much prefer our new picture up top. Much more motivational for me. Makes me feel good to see happy little healthy fruits.
Yay!
Who else is out there?? Post!

Too Motivated???

Is there such a thing as being too motivated? I am so ready to lose this weight, but now I think I have gone too far the other way. My goal was to try to shrink my stomach so that when I cut my portions I wouldn't be as hungry all the time. Well, thanks to the flu - mission accomplished. Except that now I don't think I am eating enough each day, so the weight is not dropping as fast as I would like.

A friend suggested using Fitday.com. So far I love it. I can enter everything I eat, when I exercise, etc and it helps me see where I am messing up. You can search their database for foods that have already been entered or you can enter your own foods (using the labels on stuff you eat).

I hope this helps me battle my bulge! I thought some of you might like it too!

Setbacks

It's Girl Scount cookie time! Dang it! I was doing really well on my diet until the local Girl Scout rang my doorbell on Thursday night. She was delivering the 5 boxes of cookies that I ordered last fall. Dang it! What was I thinking? It didn't help that I was holed up at home with a sick kiddo and those darn cookies were literally calling my name. So, I had what I like to call a 'setback'. More specifically it was a cookie setback.

Thankfully I was able to somewhat restrain myself. Then I took all the cookies to a get together at a friends house and left them there. Yes, you heard me right - I left 5 boxes of heavenly cookies. Ok, what was left of 5 boxes... ;)

So, I have gained a pound or so, but the important thing here is that I did not fall completely off the wagon. I hit a pot hole and then regained control!

Ok, so now I have confessed my setback, but it seems as though several (or most) of you have had blogging setbacks. Our goal this week ladies is for everyone to post at least once. Even if it is just to say 'hi! I finally posted to a blog"! I don't care what it says, but get out there and post. We all need some support - let's hear how you are doing. It doesn't have to be long or even have a point - just blog it! :)

Javagirl, do not feel bad about letting the kiddo watch Baby Einstein. We have all done it - you are only human. There is no way that we can all watch and hold them every second of the day. Just think, you are allowing him some independence and you are letting him get some visual stimulation - now don't you feel better! I honestly tried to make sure that my little one learned to play alone at an early age. Believe me it will only make your life easier later. Once he got a little older I would put some toys on the floor near the computer and let him play while I paid bills, give him some pots while I made dinner, etc. It's not always easy because they prefer your undivided attention, but it is good for both of you to have a few minutes a day to yourselves.

As for me, I am doing pretty good on all fronts. I have paid down my debt and restructured all of it to lower interest cards - which has in turn improved my payments siginificantly. This is allowing me to put more of my extra money towards payments. It is fun to watch the balances go down. Now if I can just keep my job...

I also just bought a new car. Was this a good idea? The jury is still out. My old car had been wrecked when it was only a year old. They should have totalled it, but didn't. After being in the shop 4 times to get it right, it was over the threshold for being totalled but was of course too late at that point. Almost a year after the wreck I started having trouble again. The body shop told me that I would have to pay out of pocket for a rental and diagnosis and that even though the exact same parts were not working, they could not conclude that it was from the wreck. Let's keep in mind that we are talking about a 2 year old car with around 40k miles. So, long story short I found out that the car was worth next to nothing since the car facts report showed a serious wreck (which just sucks because I was sitting still people!) and they were now telling me that I was going to have to dump even more money into it. I decided that it wasn't worth fighting, so I traded it in (at a different dealer) and got a smaller car for the same payment. And it is brand new and under warranty - thank goodness! I will tell you that this is the time to buy if you are in the market. I got my car for almost $10k under sticker and almost $5k under invoice.

On the weight front I have lost 11.8 pounds in the last week. I haven't started working out yet, but I plan to start within the next week. Treadmill at first, then work my way back up to pilates and yoga a few times a week. I know that 12 lbs in a week sounds like a lot, but remember I have almost 100 lbs to lose so it comes off faster in the beginning. It also doesn't hurt that I am doing a weight loss contest at work. I am really competitive and so are my co-workers, so we are really egging each other on. It doesn't hurt that the winner will get $420. That coupled with the fact that my health hasn't been the greatest lately, my knees have been hurting, I'm always tired, etc really motivated me to finally get started.

I hope everyone else is still doing well too. Let's post more girls!!! We need to keep each other motivated!

So this last week I got up early and did the eliptical for my 20 min. workout. Every day except for Wednesday and Friday. Both of those days I was super tired and bitchy. I ate pretty darn well all this week as well since I made up some turkey burgers yum yum and had those for lunch. I need to just remember how great I felt when I worked out in the morning!

Finances...well, we need to get back on track. We paid off one card and I'm hoping another one will be soon on it's way to financial freedom...my freedom that is. Did anyone see the article on msn.com/money regarding how you should not close your credit card but just pay them off? If you close them they go against you on your credit score and actually looks worse that if you would just have a balance. Go figure. I was pleasantly surprised that one of my husbands school loans went down this month....it is based on the interest rates....so keep falling. But being the good wife that I am I went ahead and paid what we used to pay...the $20 at least might get some more paid off sooner???? hahaha....but I'm a creature of habit. If the $20 wasn't going to the student loan it would go to my lattes and god knows I don't need any more lattes. Although I did find a $30 visa gift card in a purse that I pulled out. This will be buying my lattes for a bit!

So those with kids....do you think that it is bad to stick your 4 month old in front of baby einstein for 20 minutes or so while you pack the car? or get some email sent? Hmmm...I've been feeling really guilty about doing this but I figure that I do need to get some things done and 20 minutes really isn't that long. He mainly played with his monster doll anyway....How do you handle your kids or infants when you really just need your hands free for a few minutes?

Who's with me?

Goal: Run/Walk the Kansas City Express Mother's Day 5k May 10th, 2009

Tell me whose in!

A year...

A year to do what? So I went out and register for the National thingy as well and we'll see how it goes...I think it will be beneficial in just keeping my weight updated and seeing the ticker marks reach my goal.

I decided that I needed to get the kiddo on a better daycare schedule for both of our sakes so I decided that I would get into work at 8am so I could leave at 4:30 and that would also force me out of bed early in the morning to work out on the eliptical and I wouldn't have to worry about it when I got home. So far it has worked. I got through day 1. Accomplishment.

The thing that I will find hard is the fact that I sit at a desk all day. When I get up from my chair my hips hurt so bad - even my pubic bone feels like it is going to separate. This all started when I was pregnant and I think my quads are just too damn tight right now so they are pulling my hips forward. So in the evening I thought I would stretch prior to going to bed so I would be a bit more relaxed and at ease.

Financials - well I blew a lot more money over my 2 weeks off. There were some unexpected expenses as well due to the weather being sucky...had to buy snow chains. SNOW CHAINS!! Then it was all the baking, etc. that was done as well and the New Years eve dinner....hmmmm...the money starts adding up. Hmmmm. I'm got a new french press so I'll start taking my coffee with me to work in the mornings - I can't give that up but I can limit the lattes I spend money on.

I've been looking at a few "events" that we could possibly due so that we all have a goal date to reach for our "In Shape" portion...the Trolley Run (April 26th), Hospital Hill Run (June 6th) - each one has a 5k that we could run/walk. I would rathe do the Hospital Hill run so I'm not flying back and forth within 2 weeks of each other but...I would love to do the Trolley Run so I could probably swing it if tickets are not too expensive AND if other people would join in. Let me know who would be interested and for anyone just reading the blog - let us know if you would like to join us!

Okay - that is enough for me. My kid rolled over from front to back today and ate rice cereal for the first time...and I need to veg - all of this in one day and the rolling over thing was at the babysitters....hmmm...I need to recover mentally. He did roll over for us tonight and I think he actually rolled over last night because I couldn't figure out how he got where he went from where he started. Ya - I'm going with that.