Saturday, July 18, 2009

Alright

I know it is summer and I know that you are all quite busy...but get to bloggin' girls!

I found Terra's response on the last post very interesting and a wonderful little insight into her world/life. I also found answering the question quite hard and had many drafts going at once. It was a thinker...

So - right now I am going thru some things regarding my dad. I can discuss on here because he doesn't read this blog...thank gawd. It has been so stressful this visit that I ended up writing him a letter. I haven't decided if I will mail this letter or just rip it up for a feeling of catharsis. The letter was written for either to happen. When I wrote the letter I realized that it had been 15 years that he has popped in and out of my life - staying with me over summers, eating all of my food, using my computer, phone, cell phone, car, etc. with an attitude of entitlement. Granted he has helped in different situations but boy do I end up paying for it - thus the attitude of entitlement. I also feel completely encroached upon and violated. Nothing that I have is mine when he is here - it is his. Even furniture that I have had for over 18 years that was his at one point in time - he reminds me that it is his and that I should be grateful that I have it. I feel violated that he is on my computer and goes thru my files looking for pictures. I put a stop to that one. He answers our phone and then offers to call people back. WHAT? GET OUT OF MY LIFE! Then when I tell him it is none of his business and that I am an adult and he needs to get out of my business he gets mad and tells me that he is just trying to help. UGH!

So, I have a lot of thinking to do in the next several months before summer happens again. I don't want this to go on anymore. After seeing the 15 years - it just made me sick. And realizing that he did the same thing to me in college with 5 roommates around...makes me even sicker. He seems to think that it is okay to try and continue to control me by manipulation. Well, no longer. It may be a bit painful to do - but I figure it is like a really crusty bloody bandaide that is festering - and it must be ripped off and thrown in the trash.

How will you live the rest of your adult life with your parents? How will you treat your children when they are all grown up? What will you do differently?

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