Friday, February 27, 2009


I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kind words Javagirl and Tea. You have no idea how much I needed your inspiration right now too. When I get a chance to slow down (which is rare) I reflect on how much I have been through in the past year or two. I have absolutely no regrets nor do I feel sorry for myself at all. Quite the opposite really. I am proud that I have been able to keep my head held high as I jump over the hurdles, which in the grand scheme of things are really just very small little bumps along the road of life.

Recently a co-worker told me that "if it weren't for bad luck I would have no luck at all". I was actually a little offended. I will admit that things have not been perfect, but a big chunk of that is my fault. I made some choices in life that in hindsight may not have been the best. But good things, no GREAT things have come of some of those decisions. First and foremost, my son who has forever changed my life in the most awe inspiring way possible. Secondly I have learned - learned to pick myself up and dust myself off, learned to make the most of the situation and learned that I am surrounded by the BEST and most supportive people in the world. And lastly I have learned that I am incredibly fortunate. I really have no complaints, there are so many people in the world that are working through serious issues (cancer, accidents, war, etc.).

The other day I went to pick up little Mo at school and I found a letter from the school in his cubby. There was a picture of a little boy in his class at the top. Now this little boy has made an impression on me. You know how there are a few kids in your child's class that stand out - kids that connect with you and that you remember? Well this little guy greets little Mo and I every morning - without fail. He is always happy and he always brings a smile to my face. I noticed that he hadn't been in school for a few days, so I just assumed his family was on vacation or that he was sick or something. Well, unfortunately I was right, he is sick, but not the cold or flu that I was assuming. He was diagnosed with Leukemia a few days prior and was already in the hospital receiving chemo. I cried as I read the note asking us to pull together and support them with cards, meals, etc. Thankfully the kids were in a different room at the time or I would have been surrounded with little ones asking what is wrong with little Mo's mommy.

I just can't tell you how much I am pulling for this little guy and how much his story has impacted me and reminded me to be thankful for everything, everyone and everyday that I have. Thankfully there is a high cure rate for his disease, so there is a good chance that he will overcome this, but it never hurts to have as many people as possible pulling for you, so please keep him in your thoughts. I know you don't know him, but he is a little ray of sunshine and I know he would make you smile if you ever got the chance to meet him.

So, count your blessings not your burdens. I appreciate all of you and your support.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

You are my inspiration...

MO42 -- reading your post really made my day! The only thing I have to add to my last post is that the school board is "voting" on the issues and proposed job cuts in AUGUST. You know, 2 months after everyone has been let go. Go figure. The other thing to add is that my car cracked an expansion tank and spit antifreeze out at a stoplight yesterday. Yeah us. No car. Less money. I will admit, every screw-up in my life comes with a bouquet of flowers. I was around the corner from a gas station, my parents were home, my dad brought more antifreeze and helped me zoom to the repair shop which was 1/2 mile away and my brother flew to CA yesterday leaving me his car for the week! What a bouquet.

I digress. For the few short years I have been your friend, MO 42, your last post is everything I have hoped for you. I always knew you had the drive, but we (aries?) tend to get caught up in the hopeless causes at our own expense. You will be zooming towards the sky, creating those beautiful rainbows along the way. Your kiddo will be proud of you and the amazing woman you are.

I have a friend on the "Slim4Life" program. To get thru the plateaus, they do 3lbs of protien for 3 days and greens. They also utilize a lot of water (with a little fresh lemon juice) and cucumbers in vinnegar. Short spans of this stuff to jump start the metabolism. But then again, you sound like you're rocking by yourself and getting good incentive (little mo's playtime)

I hope the rest of us all remember to hang on to your spirit and drive in our own goals!!

Run Run Run

I want to start off with reminding everyone that we are doing the Mother's Day run here in a couple of months!!! Don't forget. I haven't been faithful with getting my butt out there to train or at least do the wii....yes - we got one...but since I am giving up on the weather being nice I'm going to start to get out there each night and jog/walk a bit. We found a great route to a little walking park by our house - one where we can keep on the side streets and off of our super busy street outside our house. This is a motivator in and of itself. I love having a good route!

We are on to saving for whatever may come...Our goal is at least 3 months in the bank. I don't think that I have any reason for losing my job or that they will lay me off - right now. So I will relax a bit but keep preparing for the day. The good thing is that I dusted off my resume and posted it and get about 5 phone calls a day for positions...well, most of the time it is 5 different people calling for the same position...but hey - if I do lose my job next week, well, at least I know that I am a wanted person (or resume at least).

Little guy has been sick since Friday - he has turned into a demon child. So, I have pretty much eaten like crap and have only moved from the sofa to the bed...for 4 days. I was seriously considering going to a priest and having him perform an exorcism...I completely understand that he has not felt well but he has developed this terrible habit of screeching like a banshee when he wants something. Or if he wakes up and we are not within inches of him - he screams. He is back to sleeping with us in bed since we can't put him down or he wakes up and starts screaming. I think we will have our work cut out for us to break these habits when he starts feeling better. At least today he is smiling and being a bit happier! Reminds me of why I wanted kids in the first place.

The good thing is that the Wii has decided my age is 24. I think that part comes from the agility portion of the thing....the other day when I wasn't so much concentrating I was 42. Either that or my Wii is dyslexic....

You know how we paid off and down on these credit cards...wouldn't you know.. we've spent money on them again>....guess my paycheck tomorrow will be going towards paying off what we put on there....we suck. You know - we HAD TO HAVE that Wii. So my goal now is to write myself notes reminding me of what we are trying to do and why.

Mo - thanks for your update! It has helped me. Remember that when you platue - it helps to do something different (like you did). That will usually jump start the metabolism again. Also - make sure that your thyroid, etc. is in working order. Sometimes that can really screw things up.


I have reached the dreaded plateau. I was losing weight at a pretty good pace and then I just kinda slowed down and have been losing and gaining the same 1.5 lbs for the last week. I know it is my own fault - I am an emotional eater and I ate a ton of sweets when I went home for my grandfather's funeral. I just haven't been able to get back in the groove since then. So, I have only lost about 5 lbs in the last 2.5 weeks. I am down over 28 lbs which should make me happy, but I figure if you are eating well and exercising that you should be rewarded with smaller numbers more quickly. If only it were that easy.

Little Mo motivated me last night though. I was extremely tired and was going to ditch the workout for the evening. He was not in agreement. Apparently he really likes the child care center at the community center, so he begged to go and even said 'pleaseeee', so I had to give in. By the time I was 5 minutes into class I was very thankful that he motivated me. It never fails that getting there is the hardest part and then I have so much energy when I am done. I ended up losing that dreaded 1.5 lbs yesterday too, so maybe I can move forward again. I think it is thanks to a new class I tried last night. It was like a weight class set to music - hard to imagine but very effective. I hurt everywhere today.

On other fronts, I am continuing to make progress on the debt. It is very slow, but it is moving in the right direction. I was really excited because I only have one more payment to pay off all the dental work I had done last year, but then I went to the dentist yesterday and found out that I need another crown. UGH! Two steps forward - one step back. I pray that little mo didn't inherit my teeth. He had a cleaning and x-rays etc last week and has a spotless record so far, so I am keeping my fingers crossed - that and brushing his teeth a lot! :)

I also got really motivated to find some new ways to save money and the environment. As part of my new lifestyle I have given up everything but water and tea. So I have been going through a lot of bottled water. Only one bottle a day because I refill, but over the weekend I invested in a brita pitcher and a couple of BPA free water bottles. I also completed my set of reuseable cleaning cloths (microfiber) so that I hardly use any paper towels anymore. For those of you that haven't done this or don't know what I am talking about - you can get washable cloths that you can use for dusting, windows, kitchen, etc. Most of you probably already did this, but I am new to it and love it.

Last but not least - organization. I was on a huge cleaning, purging and organizing spree after I kicked the ex to the curb. Then I got on the health kick and I have just been maintaining the home front. It is amazing how easy it is to keep a house clean when there is not someone there constantly messing it up. But, I really need to go through the office and organize all the files, clean out the garage and do some yard work. I am planning on having a huge garage sale in the spring, so if anyone has a bunch of stuff they want to get rid of and you want to come work the sale with me let me know - I would love to have the company.

I hope everyone is doing ok. The last several posts have not had the best news and believe me I am still worried too, but I have decided that life is short and I don't want to waste anymore time worrying and being down. If I am going to lose my job then it is going to happen and there is nothing I can do to stop it, so I am trying to enjoy life along the way. I know this is easier said than done and that some of you know for sure that your jobs are coming to an end and I am so sorry. This is when friends are more important then ever. We are hear to listen, give you a hug, help you network, etc. So please let us know how we can help - even if it is just to try to cheer you up.

Have a great week ladies!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Turmoil Part Duex

I hear you. On everything. We have been working to pay off credit cards for quite a while now and have really hit them hard over the past several months. Then one card decided to close our account - not due to not paying on time or anything of that nature but because...well, not sure. Then I got panicky thinking that the other cards were going to do the, I asked daddio for a loan to pay off our cards. I drew up a contract and am paying him the amount I would have paid each month to two cards plus a bit of interest. I planned on paying off 2 cards completely, then I read a bit more about what credit cards were doing so I decided I would pay the majority off of the highest interest rate card and then divvy the rest out to the other cards as long as I could divvy it up so that they would take a significant hit off of the balance - the rule was that I had to be able to pay the balance off in a 6-9 month period for it to be even slightly worth it (especially considering interest rates). Right now - we are looking at how fast we can pay off the rest without paying off the entire thing...READ MSN Money!!! I think that they do have some really good things out there. I don't agree with everything but they certainly gave me the heads up on credit card companies and what they were doing in this 'economy crisis'. They informed me enough to feel like I was making the right moves in what I was doing with our cards. Not that I enjoyed taking a loan from family...but hey - he is in the position to help out and we are paying him back so it is a good move. We still have to get through the crap that Amex pulled on us though....that is another long and difficult story and one that we are working on getting sorted out with them...bastards.
This next few months I hope to carry only about 5% of whatever the card limit is as a balance and I'm using all of them once a month to keep them active as well. I hope that none of them try and pull anything on me - like closing the account. Just an FYI - call the cc up and ask them to re-open your account as this is a negative hit on your credit score. If they do not open it back up - especially if you paid on time all the time - start the letter campaign and I think that there was something on msn that had a link to where you could report things like this happening. There are some new rules in place - you just have to know your rights and argue a bit AND write to them. I think it is definitely worth it especially when you have a negative standing then for that account. If at all possible - call them first and close your account. It looks better. Not great overall but better if it comes from you. I hope that we just get our stuff lower in the next few months.
Food - I love food. I especially love food when I am completely and utterly stressed at work and get no sleep and and and I could go on and on and on. I have decided that I will do what I can to eat healthy and work out. I am really hoping the sun decides to show itself for more than a few hours out here and like the fact the days are getting longer. I feel this enormous guilt that our Son has not seen much of the outside world besides going car shopping with us a couple of weekends ago. To me that is very very sad. I will enjoy our evening jogs here in the coming months. Ha - coming months....not right now mind you. I don't have the mental stamina for that.
Keep your chin up - things will get better.

Friday, February 13, 2009


Forgive me Peer Pressure Mother, for I have slacked. It's only been forever since I've posted. I like reading that the rest of you are moving along and getting some really positive things done. I am failing miserably and doing a little spiral. This isn't the fun stuff where we spin till we puke in the grass either.

I did pretty good for about a month. I created a morning system where I laid out everything the evening before so I just didn't have to think before dawn. It was all great, until it wasn't. It wasn't because I lost it somewhere and to pick something back up is the hardest thing. Weight -- I haven't stepped on a scale since I started adding to this blog. I know I've possibly gained. My health kick has gone out the window and I feel like I'm eating everything in sight. Finances....ugggh! Credit card companies are doing some funky stuff since Obama and January hit the times. I've had a card reduce the limit from 36K to 1K. WTF!? We're not talking any late payments or anything. Another card closed for inactivity. I obviously won't miss the card itself but closing that history doesn't help. Welcome to winter in KS -- a $430 gas bill is always lovely! And to top it all husband was told his job position is cut as of June 30. The school district heads are flippin idiots. So I apologise for the downer post but for those of you doing great...know that you're doing great! I normally do but these times are not for us.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

trying to focus

Focus is one of those things i used to have in ample supply. since i've started having babies though, it's kind of falling by the wayside. However, after almost a year at home with the kids, I finally feel like I have a grasp of our schedule and how to juggle time for work, time for play and time for sanity maintenance. I feel like I've made progress since we started blogging here -- if not in concrete terms of weight and money, certainly in terms of time management and clarity in my daily life. In other words, some of my goals are coming into focus a bit and I feel like I'm getting on the path to some lasting changes (if not all of the ones I wanted, at least some).
The last I went to the Doc, I'd lost a total of 11lbs since the beginning of December. I think I've made some additional progress there as well but I'll find out at the end of the month when I go back to the Doc. Also good news: my thyroid levels are in the normal range. So, hopefully, that will pay off in terms of feeling better, getting my memory back and kicking up my metabolism a tad.
Money is money. My freelance load has really taken off which means less sleep for me, but I'm doing much better with making myself go to bed at a reasonable hour and starting work earlier in the evening. If it means I can't always put the kids to bed, that sucks, but it's not as bad as them having to deal with me all the next day going on only 3 or 4 hrs sleep. So, the plus side is that we're able to stay on top of bills and even do some little extras from time to time. I pray that continues because it is such a blessing not to work about every little bill on top of work and kids.
Ok, girls, just wanted to pop in and say that i appreciate you who share your experiences on here. Even if we can't always do it regularly, it's nice to hear all of your progress when you do find time to sit and post something. Take care everyone!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I am down 20.4 lbs so far. I feel so much better already. Just in time too since my kiddo broke his leg over the weekend and I have had to carry him everywhere. I swear that cast weighs a good 3 or 4 lbs all by itself! I am just thankful that he is ok.

My finances are slowly but surely making progress too. Mind you, not much, but they are going down little by little. I read your blog Javagirl, and I am in the same boat. I really don't know what to do with my money right now. Should I be hoarding it, saving, paying off debt??? And I love my new car, but I wish I could have kept the other one until the economy turned around. Good news is that the payment is about the same and I was so upside down in the other one thanks to the wreck that my situation is not too much different financially.

How are all of you feeling in this economy? I'm so nervous about losing my job. I'm a consultant too and our jobs almost always the first to go. My company usually offers bench time, but not in this economy. You hit the bench and you get laid off. Not to mention that a few of the biggest employers here are doing mass layoffs, so the market is saturated with people with my area of expertise. Someone told me that they recently read an article here that said for every 1 opening there are 75-80 qualified applicants. Scary! The thing that scares me most is that most of my savings is gone thanks to the lawyer fees for my divorce, so I could only survive for about a month without a job.

I am trying really hard to remain positive. I am so incredibly thankful for all my wonderful family and friends. But, it is hard not to wonder when this is all going to turn around and where I will be when it does.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Are you resilient enough?

This was a title of an article that a co-worker gave me.

I'm hoping that I am.

For more - check out my 'other' blog here. This is where I am at right now and almost frozen trying to figure out what to pay off or what to save or both. Get the car fixed or buy a new one.

I'm frozen by fear.

And because of this I can't write anything right now. Just check out the other blog - state your sentiments on this one.