Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Posed Question: What did you come here to do?

Obviously, I did not come here to finish this post as it has now been 3 weeks since I started it. I am here to be a smart-alec, of course! To be mysterious, intimidating, immoveable and stubborn and amazing... or so I've heard. La, la, la.

I had to chuckle at the question because of the warped path my brain took in answering it. The question made me think of my brother & myself. It made me think of our separate personalities and the vastly different ways we are able to navigate this life. It made me think of his frustration with me as a little sister which is actually a two-fold admiration. I think he holds me in high regards most of the time but has no clue in the understanding of how I am.

I consider my brother a "searcher". Even when given the answer, he would still look further. He has this unsatisfaction to him, an unacceptance. He, however, has not figured out to use this in a positive light. We're not talking about striving to prove something wrong...more like "the world is wrong". I hope in his next life he learns how to "just be".

As far back as I can remember, I've always been a self-entertained child. I know I was inquisitive to some extent because I now consider myself fairly intelligent and know my parents were/are of the teaching sort. I would have had to be curious about things. I also know that I thought a lot. I would take information and "go away for processing". And then I would play. =) I had/have a lot of acceptance with things. I tie a lot of nature into everyday processes & I associate animal interaction with human interaction. I've learned that I have a delayed reaction with situations because it allows me to avoid reacting the unnecessary way and to have time to see more about the circumstances that may be hidden. I do have brief and fleeting struggles with the way I am occasionally as I wonder if I should be "doing more." I worry about my lack of drive to be at the top of the ladder in business, or wasting my potential. Like I said - fleeting. I know I can prop that ladder up against my house and climb to the top any day. I know I can absolutely kill the business world and explode my potential. I also know I would be unhappy in the rat-race. It's the checks and balances that we all have to have with ourselves - to be able to know ourselves, make decisions for our happiness and to have acceptance that we are doing the right thing. The truths are the hinges.

Most of today's society will not understand or accept simplicity. The media and advertising bombards us with solutions for "problems" that we have, (or will soon have because we're thinking about it constantly with the commercials blared every 5 minutes). We are taught to "strive for the best", "climb to the top", "give it your all", "get in there and just do it". While I certainly agree, these ideas are positive and must be tried in certain situations...they should not be the fabric of our daily lives. They've created the "super woman" of the 21st century that has no time for anything. I think this has been the foundation of the stress level of today's society. Initially, these mantras or mentalities may be the cause for our progression in industry, business, global communication, and every innovation of the 21st century but when do we slow down and have our "Sunday"? Where is the day of rest?

So here is my answer to the question "What did you come here to do?"

Simply put: "To be."

Sunday, May 17, 2009


I was really hoping that my motivation factor would have risen prior to the 5k we did...however...it did not. Although - I am happy to save - motivation is here and I think it all has to do with the 5k we did together AND the sunny frickin' weather we are having in Portland! I really haven't realized how much the rain and cold has affected me this year until now. Post-partem hormones - shit - add 8 months of rain and you get one depressed chick!!
Hopefully I am better now.
I feel better.

So - I was wondering something...but I want to first say that I absolutely loved being able to do the 5k with my girlies!. I miss having female companionship out here in Portland...and it was just so terribly nice to be around my friends for an hour doing something with a couple thousand other women. It was just really great. I hope that all of you remember to save time for your friends. I now life gets super busy and we get wrapped up into our own little world - but - it is good to keep the friends there by you as much as possible. Get together and just have fun and be young again without the everyday stresses of life. Don't talk about your kids, talk about nothing and just go and do something new and exciting. Take a pottery class. Make yard ornaments out of objects from Goodwill. Be creative and feminine together.

Okay - now on to the wondering something portion. I was wonering if we would like to submit questions to answer for this blog. Not a 20 something list or tell us about yourself kind of crap - we can email that so I can promptly delete it...but where it is more of a chance to gather one thought and write about it. Something that you would see out of a college writing class...an essay of sorts. Essay's from our personal points of view to share with the world.

Let me know what you think and in the meantime I will propose the first essay topic: What did you come here to do?

Take the topic however you may, dwell on it, stew on it, spend 2 seconds on it...but write about it and post. Take your time. But post it. Share it


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

back in the saddle

again a big thanks to jes for motivating me to get up on a Sunday morning at 5:30. honestly tho i was up early anyway worrying that i was cooking up a third halfling to add to the already overwhelming brood we've got going now. Luckily, I'm in the clear. I say luckily because I'm just starting to feel sane, health-wise -- even as the youngest moves into her pre-language frustration gutteral howl phase. There just isn't enough of me to go around as it is. God know what he/she is doing, that's clear.
so i've been planting up a storm attempting to get the yards in some kind of order. Last summer was a bust on that and the summer before as well. in the process, i think it's keeping me active enough to kick my metabolism into a gear a bit. I'm finding myself more motivated to forego the sweets and just play outside instead -- which is a welcome change let me tell you.
i've still not dropped a size which is my measure. And I'm not really even close, but I feel better. I have a friend who ran her first half marathon after losing 125 pounds. She's inspiring me to think about running. Something I've always hated but, lots of things have changed -- like my metabolism -- but it's worth considering. If nothing else, I'd like to do more 5ks so it doesn't make my face purple to walk 3 25 min miles. Ugh.

Monday, May 11, 2009


And oh my gawd, I can't move my hips today!!