Wow

So it seems that all of us have been a bit busy lately! First - CONGRATULATIONS - we have a new baby to look forward to pretty soon from A and her family!!! That is great. I know you've been wanting to add to the brood - I can officially call you a brood now since you will have more than 2 kids right??
Mo - congrats on the weight challenge and the organization, etc! I envy you right now. We just redid our living room layout so LiDo can crawl around uninterrupted by us or pillows or blankets...we shall see how that goes tomorrow night...I'm sure we have missed several items that can topple over or be yanked...
Ter - hang in there. It will all get better.

I'm not sure if any of you realize that our Mother's Day walk/run is coming up in oh about 6 weeks. I realized this a couple of weeks ago but have done nothing except the thinking part. I have been fighting one sickness after another for the past month and have been in no shape to start walking or running. I think I am over the worst of it all and have a bit of energy left so this is the week that I will start. We have new daycare that is in a neighborhood across the street from us so it will be easy enough to grab him, run home and run back out again. Hopefully the weather cooperates. I HATE March/beginning of April in Portland...it will be sunny all week and then right when you drive home it starts raining or is completely crappy on the weekends. It is really hit or miss but definitely a teaser. Plus - I just need sunlight right now. Sun Sun Sun Sun...that is all I think about. Did anyone ever see that old movie (70's) that was based of the Ray Bradbury short story of people living on a planet where the sun shown only 1 day out of the year and for only a short period of time and there was a group of school children that were getting ready to enjoy the 1 day of sun and locked another child in a room with a tiny window? The child could only catch a glimpse of the sun but couldn't go out and enjoy it? I think of that movie constantly about this time of year. I feel like the school kid locked in a room with only a glimpse of sunlight. How depressing is that?
We have been doing pretty well on keeping our act together. Good thing to as we would like to move out of the place we are currently in. We've decided that we will definitely be out here for another full year and we may as well be somewhere we will enjoy...maybe a place that has a yard? We've looked at a couple of places in this great neighborhood and even though the bedrooms are a bit small and we may end up with more of a romper room than a bedroom with a king-size bed shoved in there...well, I'll take it. It is 1 block from a park. It has different walking paths that end up connecting to Washington Park (largest city park in the US). It is close to the highway which will be very convenient for us...Drawbacks - well, I have to go the opposite way to drop LiDo off at daycare...but hey - I'll have a yard.
I have more to say but I think I may save it for a couple days. I'm in the midst of some self-reflection and I just read a blog describing exactly what I am thinking about So I'll post something once I get a bit more sorted out in my head. It will be interesting to hear if any of the rest of you are going through the same thing....

Time Flies

I just realized that I haven't posted in awhile, so thought I would check in. Yesterday marked 6 months since I filed for divorce. In some ways it seems like 6 years ago, but in others just like yesterday.

Since that day I have lost 38 lbs, paid off some bills, completely remodeled one room, partially remodeled another and completely organized my entire house (except for the garage). It feels pretty good to see that here - I feel like I have actually accomplished something in the last 6 months. I have achieved forward momentum!

I only have 2 weeks and a day left until the final weigh in for my contest at work. My goal is to lose another 8-10 lbs in that time in an effort to take the prize. However, I will no longer be getting the Kindle if I do because too many bills have materialized in the last few weeks. My car insurance is due for another 6 months, car tags and my accountant is working on my taxes as we speak. I am crossing my fingers that I won't owe again this year - I still haven't recovered from giving them all of my savings last year! I am having them review last year's return just in case my last preparer made a mistake, but I think it was just CA. To my dismay I found out that I have to file in CA again for '08 because even though I didn't live there at all I did get my bonus and vacation payout from Sprint in Jan '08 and they paid it out of CA since that was the last state I worked in for them.

I am also still waiting to see if my extension gets signed. If not, my last day will be 4/3. My client says that she is pretty sure it will get signed, which will give me until 6/30. But I am not holding my breath, just in case.

Here's wishing each of you a little forward momentum this week!
MO

Sorry for the absence...

...but good news to follow...I am no longer trying to loose weight...in fact I am ready to gain several pounds b/c I am expecting 9/9/09!! Getting past this first 14 weeks has been rough, but I am seeing (feeling) the light at the end of the tunnel. Starting to get a little more energy. We are excited and AJK (5yr girl) is driving us nuts w/ her impatience about the whole thing! :) Very cute though. She so badly wants to have a little sister that I am afraid of what may happen if we end up finding out it is a boy. KJK (2yr boy) is oblivious and asked me the other day "Mommy, where is the baby." I told him "in mommy's tummy" and he promptly said..."Mommy, that's funny." and went about his business like it was no big deal. Ahhh the innocence. Otherwise...the house is a pit b/c I haven't had the energy to clean. BK (hubby) has been understanding, but somehow he hasn't had the motivation to clean either. I suppose the dust will have to wait for us. The clutter is catching up to me, so I hope I have more energy soon so it doesn't start to swallow the children. All in all...things are well. Can't complain too much b/c with the economy the way it is...someone always has it worse than any of us. The way BK and I see it w/ our jobs in the grocery industry and the healthcare industry people are always going to buy groceries to eat and always need healthcare for their kids...so we feel pretty lucky.

Javagirl--I am still planning on walking in the 5K...how do we sign up??

Melancholy - "I can't complain"

I think I am the opposite of the norm. I must be. I am calmest at the full moon while all the other crazies are rip-roaring hyped. Go figure. Work is a little crazy today -- people are stressed, kiddos are upset and our favorite little basket case is in the counselor's office hyper-ventilating and wailing. Full moon, yeah.

I started yoga last night. It's been 5 years (yikes) and courtesy of a local studio, I now have 2 whole weeks of unlimited classes for $25. Spring break is coming up which means I can do 2 classes a day if I so desire. Full moon, right? Maybe I am crazy, considering I can't use my arms today after doing 80 million vinyasas last night. But damn, it feels good. Binge exercise anyone?

Everything else in my little bubble... I really can't complain. And shouldn't. We are managing. I have no self control to get the good habits in place and the rough stuff (financial) isn't going as fast as I want it to go (as usual) but it's all going. Clutter is still there, love handles are still there, hubby is getting in his busy time and I'm feeling a little neglected, but in all reality, I can't complain. So I won't.

Frustration

It is beautiful outside, it has been a very productive day and I am in a great mood. However, everywhere I turn today leads to frustration. As some of you may know, I have more reasons than just vanity and my weight loss contest to lose my excess weight. I have some health issues that are making it an absolute necessity for me to shed the pounds. So, I have a monthly checkup with my doctor to make sure that I am progressing. My monthly appointment was this morning and it didn't start off well. The nurse led me to the dreaded scale and guess what?!?! They got a brand new scale and it said that I weighed 3 lbs more than the old scale. You may ask how I would know this, well, I am of the school where I weigh every day. I do this because I know myself. If I get off for a day and I see it on the scale within a few days it makes me check myself and stay committed. If I only check sporadically then I get distracted and sometimes that off day stretches into days. By the time I see it on the scale I have gained several pounds and then I get frustrated and want to give up. So, I weigh myself before I go to the doctors office so that I will know how to adjust my weight at home to be inline with the doctors scale. Ok - that was a long explanation, but apparently their old scale was off. So I went in thinking that I lost 10 lbs this month for a total of 33, but alas I only lost 7 for a total of 30. Still good, but very frustrating.

My next frustration came when I called CitiMortgage. I am now going to join the finanicial institution bashing that has been popular on this site. In January I started paying all of my big bills (car, home, etc.) every 2 weeks instead of once a month. It is hard to get on this schedule because you basically have to pay ahead, but once you do I find that it is easier - and you save money on interest. I thought things were going well until I received a call from Citi last week stating that I was 2 months behind on my mortgage payment - even though I was technically 1/2 month ahead. It seems that they will not allow you to make partial payments unless you PAY THEM MORE MONEY to enroll in a special program. UNREAL! So, they had taken that 2.5 months of payments and applied all of them to my prinicipal and loaded me down with a bunch of late fees for not making my payments. Here is the best part, once I explained everything they had the audacity to tell me that they would do me a favor and waive the late fees for me as a one time courtesy. WHAT?!?! I paid you early and extra and you are doing me a favor? Even better - they didn't apply the payments to my principal when they received them - nope they waited until the end of the month when they had received the entire payment and then applied them to the wrong place, so I didn't even get the benefit of paying my prinicpal down faster. Long story short, I just made my umpteenth call and it is still not straightened out. I have paid for all of March and half of April and although that money is sitting in my account they will not apply it to my payments. I think I finally got someone to understand what needs to happen. I called to find out more about their bi-weekly program - $375 enrollment fee and then a $1.50 fee every time you make a payment. What a rip off! So, I promptly went in and changed my bill pay back to once a month. At least I tried!

Sorry for the rant, but I had to get that off my chest! I think maybe I will work from home for the rest of the day and try to soak up some sunshine and fresh air.

Interpretation

Interesting take on my post Javagirl. I always enjoy seeing how people interpret things differently. In the past, I probably would have had the same reaction as you to my post. But maybe that is why I feel so different about my current project. I don't feel like it is something I am meant to do for money. I feel like it's something I am meant to create. Now that is not to say that I couldn't do it for a living. First I have to see if I am any good at it. Then I have to see if other people enjoy it. I guess that will happen if this is truly meant to be and maybe then I could make a living at it. For right now, I am just content to enjoy the creative process as I work through the details.

On other fronts I am proud, if not a little hesitant, to annouce that I finally broke through the plateua. I have now lost about 33 lbs in the last 2 months. My goal is to lose 45-50 lbs within 3 months, so I still have a chance. Did I mention that I am in a weight loss contest with some friends at work? So far I have consistently been in the top 3. We weigh in once a month and the person in last has to kick an additional $10 into the pot. I am a very competitive person, so this was just the extra push I needed to get this weight off. I have even decided what I will do with the winnings, if I am so lucky... I have been wanting a Kindle (Amazon reader) ever since they came out back in '07. As luck would have it they released the Kindle 2 last week. So, now I have a little extra motivation on my side.

Before I forget I want to thank Tea for the awesome comment/quote she posted the other day. I love it! Thank you!
Mo

Revelation...Realization

Hmmm...So your post has stumped me. First thought was - is any of us really doing what we were born to do? Do you know of anyone that is doing what they were born to do? Full time. Making money. Second thought was - do I want to do something that I love day in and day out or do I want to figure out how I would like to spend my time - doing the things that I love?

Or do I even know what I would really like to do?

I am passionate about photography - always have been - but do I want to be a professional photographer? No. I love helping people but do I want to open up my massage practice again? No. I enjoy finding ways of saving money or planning out the most cost effective way of doing something but do I want to be a financial planner/biz guru? Hell no. I love organizing but do I want to be a professional organizer? No.

I think that is why I loved being a wedding/event planner....I got to do so many things. In my job right now (even though it is a pain in my arse this week) is the fact that I get to wear so many hats...most of them no one else wants to wear...but my job changes and isn't just one thing over and over again...plus it pays better.

I think that it is great to go after what you would really like to do. I know I am constantly searching but have finally decided that where I am is where I should be right now. I look at Dodo and how he can go after getting his helicopter license...and I think "how the hell could a person decide to do one thing the rest of his life?" But then - I'm not him. I wait for the moment he gets bored and tells me he want to do something else (as if) but know that in the long run - I'm the one that gets bored. With all my interests and loves - I'm good where I am.

So keep plugging away at getting to the point that you are doing what you were born to do! It comes in many different forms and the moment you get there - you'll feel much better.

And speaking of jobs and especially if anyone is thinking about embarking on something new in this day and age...haha....what are your thoughts of how the "little guy" will end up making it big? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Wondering how small business is going to change along with big business. Are we going to have these success stories of how someone filled a need and made it big?

This thought comes to mind more and more these days because before, if I was afraid of losing my job, I could say "hey - maybe I'll try this next". I'm afraid those days are over. The days of losing a job and deciding to go out and make it on your own. Hell, good luck finding the capital but if you did - what would you do?

Revelation

Have any of you ever felt like you weren't doing what you were born to do? I for one believe in destiny and I think that sometimes we can get off track. In fact, I think that I was really off track. It has been nagging at me for some time - just a little voice in the back of my head really. But lately I have been inspired in a way that I never expected. The result? I started to hear that little voice much more clearly and it turns out that it was not really that little - it has been screaming at me - I was just choosing to ignore it.

Once I allowed myself to hear it clearly it became an even bigger issue for me because I was faced with trying to figure out what was off track in my life. After a few days I realized that it is my lack of a creative outlet. I tried to resolve this by doing some creative stuff on my own time. It worked a little, but did not fulfill me. I have been doing a lot of research on the internet and I have been thinking - a lot! In fact, I have been in my head so much lately that it is a little scary. I had some serious spring cleaning to do folks. Turns out that when you focus all of your energy on things that aren't fulfilling you, lots of things get neglected.

I am happy to report that I think I figured out what I might be meant to do. I know I am being a little vague, but I am not ready to share the details with anyone yet. In fact, it might be months before I am ready. In the meantime I am moving ahead full steam with my plan in my limited spare time. If things work out the way I hope they do then I will share more later. If not, I will just chalk it up to a learning experience.

I have shared my new obsession with the two people that I am closest too, my mom and my dearest friend. It's funny because I was leary of even telling them. You see, I am so passionate about this new project that I feel like I sound really strange when I talk about it. In fact, when I told my mom - said it outloud for the first time - I actually cried. It was like the best release you can imagine.

So, if any of you have a little voice nagging at you in the back of your mind, take some time to listen. You just might find out that listening to it could change your life. If nothing else, you might feel more fulfilled. If you start this little process and start to feel a little overwhelmed (believe me - I did) then let me know and I will give you some encouragement to get yourself through it.